Growing a business purely to make money almost killed me.
I grew a business from nothing to 40 employees, $5,000,000 in revenue, and $60,000,000 in property value in less than 5 years.
And I hated my life at the end.
I am still going through the transition phase, but I can’t stand who I am anymore.
Owning and growing a company with the primary goal of making money has made me depressed, lonely, and confused.
When I first started my grind in the real estate business 8 years ago, I thought that the more successful I got, the happier I would become.
I wish that narrative would have become a true story, but quite the opposite has happened.
With more success, I became more stressed and more depressed.
After selling my company and escaping the day to day grind, I realize why I kept myself in suffering and pain for so long.
I am sharing this with you, because if you are an ambitious person with an extreme hunger for money and a better life, I hope this helps. I know how you feel at the deepest level.
Biggest Reason: My Childhood Traumas.
Capitalism rewards the people with the most unresolved trauma.
How many times have you heard a rich person say they grew up poor? Probably a shit ton.
Growing up, I had some friends who came from wealthy families, and when I went to college I met people who came from REALLY wealthy families.
My dad was a security guard, my mom tried starting a business, but failed, and then became a maid.
There is an intense amount of childhood trauma around money for me.
I had never had it, so I was money crazy as soon as I turned 21.
The other major childhood trauma that I have never told anyone before is the amount that I got bullied from age 10-13.
These were extremely rough years for me. Got called “chink” and the kid with the slanted eyes at school. Even my friends were racist to me, and I laughed it off all the time, but each time a part of me died inside.
My entire life, I have felt like the underdog.
When I first started playing football, I was arguably the worst player on the team.
I was one of the shortest kids in school.
I always had to work my ass off in order to get anything I wanted since I was a kid.
I think for once in my life, I didn’t want to feel like the underdog anymore.
Business was my way out.
I was going to “show them what I was made of!”
Then, I did it. I worked every single minute I was awake from 21 until now.
I just turned 29 on Jan. 16th.
Yay... I did it. I’m a millionaire ten times over, and I don’t need to work ever again. I’m technically retired. “I showed them!” I showed all the people who bullied me or made me feel smaller that I am “better” than them!
Cool story bro... now what?
I am currently in the “now what” stage.
I am a classic case of someone who scratched & clawed their way through to “success” through brute force and suffering.
I have no agenda or anything to sell you doing this.
Writing this and getting this out in the open honestly gives me peace and helps me understand myself better.
Another thing I am going through right now is an Identity Crisis.
I have been “The Real Estate Guy” for almost a decade now.
I am trying to shed off that identity and create a new, healthier version of myself.
But, my ego makes that really hard for me.
The ego / prideful part of myself tells me that I will be depressed without striving for more and that I will regret not growing my real estate portfolio to a Billion Dollars.
A mindset shift that has helped me immensely:
If I didn’t make any money from it, would I keep doing this?
This is how I will reframe any business decision from now on.
If I think something is a great idea or a great new venture to start, I will always come back to this question.
Am I doing it just for money? If yes, I know that I will end up empty and unfulfilled again, like I do now.
One thing I cannot stand is making the same mistake twice.
“Would I still raise money from investors, buy run down investment properties, manage construction, and deal with all the accounts payable if I made no money doing it?”
F**K NO.
Okay, so I need to eventually wind that down.
Then, I had another bright idea yesterday...
Okay, so I need to eventually wind that down as well.
Then, I had another bright idea yesterday...
“What if I started a private equity company where I could raise money, invest in businesses, and help founders scale their business?”
Sounds amazing on the surface right? But, what I didn’t realize at the moment is the amount of brain damage it takes to grow and operate that business model.
Would I still want to cold call and market to businesses, solicit people for money, and take huge risks on failing companies for no money? Nah, I’m good.
So what do I really want to do? What am I happy doing even if I never make a dollar?
Inspiring others, helping people who are struggling, and saving dogs.
If this post inspired you or helped you at all, my cup is filled.
Now I just need to figure out how to save 1,000,000 dogs.
If this inspired or helped you in any way, can you please share it with others who might need to hear this? That’s my only ask.